5 posts tagged “self-congratulation”

from a weekend in New York City:

"It's empty, like my heart."
-Katie, on her locket

"WALL-E was so good! It reminded me of... a good movie."
-Schubin

"Lou and I have ingested a truly formidible amount of food at two different restaurants in the last four hours."
"I'm very proud of you"
"Hopefully you will agree to be my pallbearer as well."
"Not if you keep eating like this I'm not."
-Fernando and me, via text message

"The building is heated and cooled on a complex system run by both self-satisfaction and poverty."
-Mountain Tall, on the gentrification of Harlem

"We should see Indiana Jones! Indiana Jones! Doot doo doot doo, doot doo doo, doot doo doot doo, doot doo doo doo doo, doot doo doot doo, doot doo doo, dananana da na da da na da da na da na na! That's the theme song."
-Schubin, on the phone with his sister, on what movie they should see

"So do you have, like, jazz insurance?"
-Schubin, clearly concerned about Brian's health and well-being

"You have two apartments. We have zero."
"Sure, but I also have an imaginary drug problem. These are the consequences of my excessive lifestyle."
-Me and Andria

"K-E? What is that?"
"I'm gonna say some kind of sea creature."
-Andria and Mountain Tall, on a dubious play in Scrabble

"Fetal position, here I come."
-Cindy B

"What kind of night are you planning on having?"
"I dunno, I've got spring break the week after next."
-Schubin and Wendy, on drinking heavily

"I had a dream about you last night. I won't get into it any further."
"Oh, that's okay. I have dreams about me too, but they're awful."
-Andria and Mountain Tall

"I'm not even hearing you right now. In my mind, I'm barbecuing."
-Mountain Tall, on hearing how much Andria's going to be making as an intern this summer

"I feel like I could come back in five years and be like, 'You want to be... friends... more?'"
-John Curtin, on loyalty

"That's interesting. You consider Glasgow to be the capital of a country?"
-Jon Schubin, on my geographical ineptitude

Katie, in a texted response to my report that T9 does not have the word "Yiddish" in its vocabulary:
"Oy (I love the many levels of significance of that response. & irony, since they do have oy. But only because it starts oyster, a type of shellfish. Not kosher)"

Kenny, jumping in to my classic argument about whether Superman or Batman would win in a fight:
"Superman could pick up the continent Batman was standing on and throw it into outer space! That's the thing with Superman: if it's a problem, he picks it up and throws it into space."

A new feature: a listing of funny things that people say to me, which need no further elaboration.

"I can't even imagine what it's like to support a National League team."
"It usually means there's a small part of your brain missing."